Home

So I'm home. Sorry it took so long. OK I'm not. I hate that it took so long because hospitals are effing boring.

I'm on the mend. Pretty tired.

The doctors kept me a few days extra because they thought I may have had an infection. Apparently about 50% of hip and knee patients have an increased body temperature as part of their natural healing process. I am one of them. Unfortunately a raised body temp is also a sign of an infection. The tests took two days to get back. Also they thought I might have had clots because I was fainting on Saturday. I was just really not ready to be running around on crutches. I said that, but you know... a 4-year degree in nursing makes you more knowledgeable about my body than I am. Whatever. I had great care and I'm glad to be home.

I got lots of visits,and some late-night drunken texts from a coworker. It was rad!!

They sent me home with Percocets because T3s do nothing for me anymore. I had to take too many between operations. Percs on the other hand have me relating to the casts of "Hair" or, "Across the Universe" or something. Thankfully I haven't needed to take any in awhile.

That said, laying, stretched out, perfectly still in bed starring glossy-eyed out the window at the full moon for a full 3 hours while listening to my iPod was probably the best night of my 5 days in the hospital.

So many rules about what I can and can't do. I can shower, but I can't sit on my shower stool. I learned that the hard way this aft when I had to call for my mom to lift my naked hairy leg out of the tub. Thankfully my parents have a stall that I can crutch right into in their en suite.

I can wipe my own ass. It occurred to me though that if the hospital doesn't care if I have a bowel movement or not prior to releasing me, why the eff did they load me up with stool softeners and laxatives? Don't the realize that I can't exactly rush to the pot now that all this well..... shit.... is starting to work its way out? No accidents yet but I will NOT be taking the All-Bran challenge anytime soon. I've had kolayse, which in this case is a performance enhancing drug.

I don't want to disown any of my relatives yet though I did have to tell my sister a couple times that using me to procrastinate from her studies is lame. Especially because I can do anything I need to for myself except cart stuff around and put on socks and shoes. I'm grateful for Dad and Mum taking me in while I'm on the mend, so hopefully my need of assistance won't strain our relationship, or theirs, or cause any wars or famine through the butterfly effect or whatever. I just told them the truth: I'll ask for help when I need it and be specific about what I need help doing, that way it's not a burden on you, and I still get to do stuff for myself.

So that's almost a day down. 5.5 weeks to go!!