Friday, April 17, 2009

Angst

I'm nine hours away from my 2 week post-op appointment. I can't sleep. It's almost 4:30 AM and I'm wide awake.

I've had a painful day. I'm not sure if I over did it on the physiotherapy or moved in a way I shouldn't have but without percocet I've had that joint pain feeling pretty much on the same level as pre-op. What's more, the pain has been coming right back between doses.

All week long I've been excited and dreaming about what life will be like when my right hip no longer dictates how I live my life. today has me worried. What if this is it? What if, no more sports, no more gym, and *ugh*..... no more well..... everything in life I used to do that made it worth getting out of bed.

I had an e-chat with someone I knew from highschool today. We were talking about how now that we're in our mid-twenties we're starting to feel old. We regailed eachother with stories of 19 yearolds not understanding why we rebuff their amorous advances, and how we used to have so much more energy than we do now.

I'm not entirely certain that all of the meds I've had to take over the years haven't contributed. If nothing else I look forward to the day I won't have to medicate myself. Should that day ever come. I hope that this right hip is on the mend and that the pain is normal at this stage.

A year ago I was collecting my last pay check for teaching yoga in Lethbridge, and of course, moving to Calgary. We all know what happened next. I feel like life is on hold. That might be inaccurate. I feel like I had just finished one big chapter of life and at onset, saw this surgical patient status as an entr'acte and it's becoming its own show.

l can't get back 21-24, but I'd like to hope that it was a good trade for an awesome 25-29. Here's hoping.

4 comments:

  1. Hello

    How are you doing right now? What came out of your appointment. I'm myself 2 weeks post op after open surgery for FAI. I'm having intermittently the same pain in the groin but as well my quadriceps muscles hurt like hell. What worries me most is, that the operated leg seems longer than before. I know that this is hardly possible but it worries me. Me first post op appointment will be in 5 weeks time... Then x rays will be done and hopefully I can get off the crutches by then...
    Life with pain sucks!

    Take care
    Jan

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  2. Hi Jess, You were on my blog myfaihippain.blogspot.com - I'm the one 6 bdays post op, better day today thanks.
    When do you get your full diagnosis, have you had MRA for labral tears yet.
    There seems quite a community of us across the world, I suspect in 10 - 20 years its a prevelant as swine flu!
    Keep me posted Louisa.

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  3. What happened to you after this post? How are you doing all these months later? Please let us know!

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  4. Hey, if you check this, can you please email me? I am in your neck of woods and curious to hear about your experience/which doctors you went to.

    ltyper@gmail.com

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