I'm nine hours away from my 2 week post-op appointment. I can't sleep. It's almost 4:30 AM and I'm wide awake.
I've had a painful day. I'm not sure if I over did it on the physiotherapy or moved in a way I shouldn't have but without percocet I've had that joint pain feeling pretty much on the same level as pre-op. What's more, the pain has been coming right back between doses.
All week long I've been excited and dreaming about what life will be like when my right hip no longer dictates how I live my life. today has me worried. What if this is it? What if, no more sports, no more gym, and *ugh*..... no more well..... everything in life I used to do that made it worth getting out of bed.
I had an e-chat with someone I knew from highschool today. We were talking about how now that we're in our mid-twenties we're starting to feel old. We regailed eachother with stories of 19 yearolds not understanding why we rebuff their amorous advances, and how we used to have so much more energy than we do now.
I'm not entirely certain that all of the meds I've had to take over the years haven't contributed. If nothing else I look forward to the day I won't have to medicate myself. Should that day ever come. I hope that this right hip is on the mend and that the pain is normal at this stage.
A year ago I was collecting my last pay check for teaching yoga in Lethbridge, and of course, moving to Calgary. We all know what happened next. I feel like life is on hold. That might be inaccurate. I feel like I had just finished one big chapter of life and at onset, saw this surgical patient status as an entr'acte and it's becoming its own show.
l can't get back 21-24, but I'd like to hope that it was a good trade for an awesome 25-29. Here's hoping.